Terms of Service

You are purchasing a featured display placement on cooked.rip. Payment places your name, message, optional link and optional image in the featured spot on the front page. It is a digital service, delivered immediately. You are not buying ownership, permanence, exclusivity or anything else.

Your display time runs until another customer purchases a higher-priced placement, with a guaranteed minimum of 60 seconds of display time. That can happen minutes later or never. That guarantee is the whole service level. Playful language used elsewhere on the site ("throne", "cook them") is entertainment branding for this same display placement service.

You must be at least 18 years old and legally able to enter a contract. The card or payment method must be yours or used with the holder's permission. The service is not directed at children.

Prices are shown in US dollars at checkout and are set by the current bid plus the posted increment, with time-based decay applied automatically. Payment is processed by our payment provider (Stripe or Polar); we never see or store your card details.

Any taxes required by your jurisdiction are handled by the payment provider at checkout. If a payment is reversed or charged back, the associated entry is removed.

All sales are final; no refunds. No refunds when another customer purchases a higher-priced placement quickly, since that is the entire product. We do refund failed moderation, duplicate charges, unauthorised payments and technical failures on our side — the full policy is on the refunds page.

No nudity or sexual content. No hate speech or slurs. No harassment, threats, doxxing or personal information about other people. No impersonation. No malware, phishing, scams, unlicensed financial or medical advice, or anything illegal where you or we are located. No content you do not own or have the rights to use.

Submissions are screened automatically and may be reviewed by a human. We may remove any entry that breaks these rules, without refund, and may permanently block repeat offenders. Reporting is available on every entry.

You keep ownership of what you submit. You grant us a worldwide, royalty-free, non-exclusive licence to display, store, reproduce and archive your entry on the site and in promotional screenshots of the site, for as long as the archive exists.

All outbound links are marked nofollow and are not endorsements. We are not responsible for anything on a linked site.

Dethroned entries are kept in the public graveyard indefinitely, because the record is the point. If you need yours removed, submit a request on the privacy choices page and we will action valid deletion requests.

If you believe an entry infringes your copyright, email legal@cooked.rip with the work concerned, the URL of the entry, your contact details, and a statement that you have a good-faith belief the use is unauthorised. We remove infringing content promptly and terminate repeat infringers.

The service is provided "as is", without warranties of any kind. We do not promise uninterrupted availability. To the maximum extent permitted by law, our total liability for any claim relating to the service is limited to the amount you paid us in the 12 months before the claim.

Nothing here limits liability that cannot be limited by law, including fraud, and nothing removes statutory consumer rights you have where you live.

We may update these terms; the date at the top changes when we do, and continued use means acceptance. We may suspend or end the service at any time. If we shut the service down while your entry is live, we refund the current ruler pro rata.

These terms are governed by the laws of the State of Delaware, USA, without regard to conflict-of-law rules, and the courts there have exclusive jurisdiction — except where mandatory local consumer law gives you the right to bring a claim where you live.

Talk to us first: support@cooked.rip. Most things get fixed in an email.

cooked.rip is operated online only; email is the fastest way to reach a human. We reply within 3 business days.

• Support, orders and refunds: support@cooked.rip
• Privacy and data requests: privacy@cooked.rip
• Legal and DMCA notices: legal@cooked.rip